Meditating

I love meditating the it’s been quite a while and the more I do it. The more I feel easy going and don’t stress or worry about negative mess/people. I can feel and emit energy like I can feel the vibration. I also been working on shifting the paradigm. Meaning leaving everything negative and low vibrational behind since it is not of me. Meditation clears my mind and helps me focus on the important things. So when I order Halo and few more things. I want my vibrations high when I light my spelled and conjure candles. I have always been into the esoteric but being raised in a religious home it was difficult to be my own person. No disrespect to those who are because my grandmother is very powerful and spiritual woman. It’s just that now that I’m 29 and moved back home after 9 yrs I decided that I can no longer live for others and their validation. It’s time to put myself first for once and create the life I desire. Real talk you can be depressed not know it. I was really depressed and angry as a child, not being to recognize it at the time. Mom and dad was always beefing over dumb things (well to me, they knew what the real issues were between them) so I basically created my own world. I knew I was different from other kids and didn’t care to have friends but people are drawn to me so. I just like to be alone and I can entertain myself. Now after leaving home after high school was basically a crash course into the “adult world” . I learn many lessons good/bad. Most of all I felt free and was able come into my own as a young adult and figure myself out. Over the years that depression and anger and anxiety started to slowly creep out until I was completely consumed by it. Abusing drugs and alcohol to cope with life. I actually started to just give up on life and be complacent in the chaos and toxic people around me because it became normal. Now I’m not one to ask for help much, I just suffer in silence and keep pushing but I learned that when you don’t vocalize what’s wrong or what you need but through that silent suffer age. Your soul cries out and I believe god and spirit said if he isn’t strong enough to get away. Let’s just pull him out and put him where he feels uncomfortable and don’t want go back to which was “home”. After all that and getting myself together to fulfill my purpose on this earth I feel like me again and finally brave enough tap in more into my power. I hope this isn’t too long and boring but for someone who internalizes everything. I’m glad there is a space where I can release and others understand where I’m coming from and could possibly help another.